Hmm .. Friday last week nag-away kami ni Neshie [best friend ko]. Hayy.. Naasar ako kasi lagi na lang niya ako tina-tarayan habang iba naman hindi. I was so obvious na sa'kin siya may problema. I kept telling Kuya Gelo "may problema siya sakin eh! halatang-halata. kilalang-kilala ko na siya. ni hindi niya nga ako matignan ng diretso eh! kuya kilala ko siya eh" tapos nase-sense ko na rin yung rason kung bakit, I was simply waiting for her to voice it out. Baka kasi isipin niya ang kapal naman ng mukha ko.
I think it was Monday recess, tumindi na asar ko sa kanya. I kept shouting isa lang best friend ko, excluding her [2 kasi best friends ko, siya tska si bez -- Lara]. Pag labas niya ng rest room, halatang naiyak siya. She tried to talk to me, but I just shoved her off. Alam ko, it was bad of me. What can I do? Naasar ako sa kanya because of the way she treated me, tsaka yung pagka-obvious na she was lying, saying that she has no problem, eh obvious naman na meron eh. Kita ko nga siya naiyak nung recess eh. Frankly, na-guilty ako. Pero ako kasi yung typical na pag napuno, patigasan na lang tayo. That's just how I am.
Nagwawala nga ako that time eh. Haha! Sigaw ako ng sigaw. Kakahiya na kay *toot* eh. Haha. Buti na lang alam niya problem ko. Galing nga eh. Haha!
Kaya nung lunch, nagpabigay siya ng letter kay Miki. Gusto niya daw mag-explain. I let her. Lunch, magkausap kami. She explained everything. Tama pala yung hula ko. Pero hindi ko na sasabihin. Amin na 'yon ni Nesh.
Basta Nesh, kung binabasa mo man 'to, masasabi ko lang:
Mas importante ka kesa don. No matter what happens. Sabihin man natin those past few days mas nakasama ko siya, it doesn't mean na mas pahahalagahan ko siya more than you. Malay ko ba, someday iwan niya ako. Sino ba yung magiging andon for me? Kayo lang ni bez. Kayo lang naman nakaka-intindi sa'kin ng ganito eh. Remember I told you heroes ko kayo? I expect it'll remain like that. Expect& hope. Hehe! Love you guys!!
Pag tapos non, it was like nothing happened. Nababalik parin yung topic na yon, pero tinatawanan na lang. Aaminin ko naman na mali rin ako eh, I spent to much time with somebody else rather than my best friends, eh alam ko namang kahit anong mangyari they won't leave me. Habang siya... well, we'll never know.
Tulad ngayon, kaaway uli kami [not Nesh huh..]. I kept asking things like "Ano ba, ayaw mo na ba? Sabihin mo lang" kasi kanina talagang gusto ko siya iwan. Chat to ah, more like usap sa status. Grabe, napuno kasi ako sa nangyari kagabi. Eh like I said, pag ako napuno patigasan na lang. Mabibilib ako sa'yo pag nag-sorry ka ng nag-sorry. Pero pag hindi, frankly, lalo ako naaasar. Kaya kanina grabe, gusto ko na talaga tapusin yun rel namin. Hay!! Ang sweet pa naman niya nung Thursday, kasi kahit fiesta sa Silang, he still went, para lang daw makita ako.
Kagabi talagang lakas ng feeling ko na pag hindi 'to maaayos ngayon tataas talaga temper ko sa kanya. Pero naayos? Hindi. Tama nga hula ko, tumindi. Imagine, gusto ko makipagbreak? Eto pa nga conversation namin ni Nesh eh, nabasa niya kasi status ko, sabi ko non yung "ayaw mo na ba? sabihin mo lang" thingy. Siya naman yung "ayaw ko mawala sa'kin yung mahal ko" thing. One thing na kinabiliban ko, hindi siya nahiya sa mga sinasabi niya [yata].
Eto yung conversation sa chat:
neshie (2/4/2006 10:48:48 AM): wat happned?
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:48:58 AM): what u mean?
neshie (2/4/2006 10:49:38 AM): bkt gnyan ang stat nio ni mano?
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:49:49 AM): hay, nababasa moh ba?! :))
neshie (2/4/2006 10:50:13 AM): ay ndi..,.
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:50:32 AM): tntanong q xia kun aiaw nba nia .. klala moh nman aq pag npuno aq .. eh don xa ngyari khapon .. naasar tlg aq .. eto, ala na q xa xrili q ..
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:50:42 AM): ang sarap mkpagbreak ..
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:50:55 AM): un nman ata gxto nia eh
francineannlandrito (2/4/2006 10:53:35 AM): kw namna
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:54:05 AM): bket? hmm .. kchat moh?
neshie (2/4/2006 10:54:45 AM): ndi.,.bkt ka nmann ng-iicp ng gnyan.,.
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:55:51 AM): eh naaasar aq eh .. neshie, klala moh q pag naasar na q .. dko na nppgilan xrili q .. most prbably mgccc aq pero iba aq pag ala aq xa xrili q eh ..
neshie (2/4/2006 10:56:01 AM): anne? cno c anne?
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:56:21 AM): rouanne .. un twag nmin don .. kei mariah riah ..
neshie (2/4/2006 10:56:48 AM): ah.,.oK
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:57:01 AM): aiaw q ks mbnggit xi rouanne eh .. kaia anne nLan, para di common ..
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:57:10 AM): ehehe ..
neshie (2/4/2006 10:57:15 AM): wg k nmn mxdong mgpadala.,.kc bka kng anon pang mgwa mo dyan.,.
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:57:23 AM): haha ..
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:57:24 AM):
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:57:38 AM): kaia q toh! tibay2 q eh .. haha .. saya..
neshie (2/4/2006 10:58:03 AM): wushu
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:58:20 AM): bket? totoo nman eh .. bket q xia iiyakan?
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:58:21 AM): sus
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:58:59 AM): kelan q ba xia iniyakan?
neshie (2/4/2006 10:59:00 AM): tlga lng ha,,
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 10:59:20 AM): bket, kelan b?
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:00:22 AM): ala ka maicp noh?
neshie (2/4/2006 11:00:25 AM): lam mo b.,.hnika c renz kgbi.,.
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:00:34 AM): mei hika b un??
neshie (2/4/2006 11:00:36 AM): grbe nataranta me.,.
neshie (2/4/2006 11:00:58 AM): hehe
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:01:32 AM): ow? parang xia nung isang araw .......
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:02:45 AM): hehe .. nvm .. kwento kpa .. haha
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:06:14 AM): This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know
**That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know
<repeat **>
So far away (So far away)
Been far away for far too long
So far away (So far away)
Been far away for far too long
But you k
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:06:29 AM): I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you any more
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing, 'cause i'm not leaving you any more
Believe it
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and never let me go
neshie (2/4/2006 11:08:29 AM): last yr kaia inykn mo xa.,.
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:08:43 AM): kelan?
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:08:51 AM): ung kines? peke lng un
neshie (2/4/2006 11:09:29 AM): wushu.,.
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:09:39 AM): ...
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:09:41 AM): k, fine
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:10:03 AM): iniyakan q nga xia .. eh last yr pa nman un db??
neshie (2/4/2006 11:11:11 AM): kht na.,.d b mhal mo xa.,.d mo maiiwasan n iyakan xa.,.
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:13:34 AM): hay nesh nman eh
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:13:40 AM): pngpa-guilty ..
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:14:57 AM): neshie .. maia nLan ah ..
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:15:07 AM): aalis 4 lesson eh
neshie (2/4/2006 11:16:07 AM): ok
eemranoeh25 (2/4/2006 11:16:22 AM): ngatz girl .. ingat! thanks ..
neshie (2/4/2006 11:16:53 AM): ingat dn
Ah, ewan.. Kakayanin ko 'to.. Whatever happens.